What'd you do That For?

Quite a few times now, when I tell some of my guy friends that I'm engaged, their reaction goes something like this:

"How old are you?"

29.

"What'd you do that for?"

It's predictable; there are a plethora of pressures in this culture that tell men to become boys and run from responsibility. Some of it comes from a society that tells men they can have all the sex they want commitment and consequence free. Some of it comes from the divorce statistics. Some of it comes from well meaning folks in the church, who beat the divorce statistics until they are dead and twitching. These folks tend to dwell a tremendous amount on the hardships of marriage, and they give scant attention to all the joys.

When you've just heard the 12th sermon warning of the stumblings of married couples, how kids wear you out and make you think nasty thoughts, and how "50% of Christian marriages end in divorce," blah, blah, blah, it's no wonder guys aren't exactly excited about getting married. My word, these days Paul's phrase "it is good for a man not to marry" is repeated ad nauseum like it's some Eckhart Tolle incantation. I'm tired of it, frankly.

There's not much talk, both inside and outside the church, about responsibility being a manly calling. Very few talk about how responsibility is hard, and that because it's hard, it's good. It stretches you, and like any hard task, it transforms your selfish character. We tend to miss the fact that the commitment of all one's being to another person for life is a noble honor worth pursuing.

I'm not married yet, so I don't know what marriage will be like. I'm willing to bet it actually will be hard at times. But this makes me want to run towards, not away from marriage.

I love my fiance', and therefore I'm looking forward to giving up my independence. I consider the responsibility a joy, and I want to embrace it...that's what I tell the man-boys who think I'm selling short. I hope they never forget that.

Introducing: The Gospel Coalition

A growing new movement unified around the Gospel . . .

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I wasn't Hired to Preach the Gospel?

I was talking with a friend today about being a Christian in the work world. He said something that really teed me off:

“I didn’t get hired to preach the gospel.”

That was his way of saying that he really didn’t talk about his faith, Jesus, or religious matters at work.

I recognize that some jobs lend themselves better than others to sharing one’s faith. I also recognize that sometimes you need to be careful. But I really can’t agree with my friend in the end.

Wherever you are, God did hire you, and He hired you to preach the gospel. The Great Commission was not just given for “professional” missionaries and ministers. It was a command given for every believer no matter who they are and where they work. You are a missionary, and wherever you find yourself daily, that is your mission field.

Again, you have to be careful in some jobs. I’m a teacher in a public school, so I know that all too well. Especially if you have a family, you wouldn’t want to rashly say something that could have consequences for your whole family. However, there are tactful ways to bring up spirituality, and you’d be surprised by what you can get away with. Most of the things we tend to think will happen to us if we speak up are basically mythical.

Last year I did a 4 week lunch discussion on a few spiritual questions. It was geared towards non-Christians, and I invited the whole faculty. This was done in a very secular public school. When I would tell people about the event (teachers, non-teachers, Christians and non-Christians), most would respond with something like, “doesn’t that violate the Separation of Church and State?” or “are you sure you can do that?”

Answers, respectively: no, and yes.

There is profound misunderstanding on that point, and it keeps us cowering in fear.

There is a common perception out there that spirituality and religion are irrelevant and talk about them should be relegated to the closet and the Sunday school house. Most of the time that is not explicitly spoken, but it is felt. That is felt very accutely by most Christians I know. We feel that cultural more impinging on our hearts with increased intensity.

This is not good. We need to combat this perception. If we don’t talk of Christ and the gospel in our jobs, this perception will only continue to spread. Our irrelevance will continue to rise.

Also, if you don’t actually, you know, share your faith, how will people hear the gospel? Some like to quote St. Francis: “preach the gospel at all times. Use words when necessary.”

Most don’t realize that St. Francis was an itinerant preacher, and he could get away with saying something like that. Not so for most of us. We live in a very, very, very biblically ignorant culture. If you never bring it up, most will assume you are just a nice religious guy. They’ll get that you have integrity, and that you probably go to church on Sunday, and that you are a very moral person. But that’s about where it will end. They won’t “get the gospel” just by looking at your actions.

This doesn’t mean that actions aren’t important. Quite the contrary. This does mean that we can’t expect our actions alone to do the sharing our mouths should be doing. There is a content to the gospel that can’t be gleaned from a good work ethic and a friendly demeanor. Both actions and words are necessary in this radically secularized culture.

And you know what? If something bad does happen, oh well. Count it blessing. God is writing it all down, and He’s your real boss.

Apologists are fond of quoting 1 Peter 3:15. We should also be fond of quoting 4:12-16:

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.

This was given in the context of severe suffering. The overwhelming majority of people who are sanctioned for speaking of Christ in the workplace will not experience this type of severe suffering. However, I think the verses still can apply.

So, step out today. You were hired to preach the gospel.

Movie Review: Fireproof

I just finished seeing Fireproof.

Acting: subpar

dialogue: cheesy

Preachy? Definitely

However, I liked it, you know? I actually got emotional during the scene at the end between Caleb and his mother. The movie really gave me something to dwell upon as I enter my own marriage. I saw glimpses of my own selfishness in Caleb. For example, I nitpick in my head over small habits my roommates have, but I myself do the same things.

The movie really sobered me up by showing me where that sort of selfishness could end.

Though it was overly preachy and the acting was terrible (besides Cameron, most of the actors were church volunteers, not professional thespians. This is helpful to know up front.), there were a few powerful gospel scenes. The biggest one, perhaps, was when Caleb kept pushing away discussion of God, then went on to vigorously complain about his wife constantly rejecting him no matter what he does for her. While he reaches out (or so he thinks...he's just going through the motions, really) to her, she "spits in his face." The parallel between that and his relationship to God becomes quite apparent soon after.

It was good to see a movie promoting marriage values, there were some very funny moments, and it was deep in places. It really made me stop and consider my ways. Hey, being "provoked to godliness" by a film is never a bad thing.

Michael Brown has a helpful review here. Particularly helpful were the following two "con" points about the film:

• Presents Christianity as the solution to a bad marriage.The reality is that there are plenty of unbelievers who are happily married (relatively speaking). This is because marriage is a creational, pre-Fall institution that belongs to the realm of common grace, not redemption. Marriage (that is, a lifelong, monogomous covenant between one man and one woman) is for all people, not merely Christians. Chances are there is an unbelieving married couple on your street who have a pretty good marriage, due to their relationship being marked with mutual service, love and devotion. Conversely, there are plenty of Christian marriages that look like the one depicted at the beginning of the movie (i.e. characterized by selfishness, unforgiveness, anger, and bitterness), due to the Christian couple refusing to get over themselves and grow up. So, this is very misleading. And unbelievers are not so stupid that they can't pick up on this. Just read the reviews of this film.

• Presents a theology of glory. More of the above. Unfortunately, the message preached (and I mean preached) in this movie inevitably comes across to say, "Become a Christian and the circumstances of your life will improve." Well, that is a) not true and b) not a valid reason for becoming a Christian. Read 1 Corinthians 15. The only valid reason for becoming a Christian is that the message of the life, death, and resurrection of Christ is TRUE, not that it offers the spiritual magic to have your best life right now.

Candace Watters at Boundless provides another review that balances out Michael's review here.

I'm easy to please, and perhaps that's why I liked it. It's good to see strong Christians in the film-making business, and I hope we can keep that up while improving the quality of our films at the same time.